My toes feel really numb. I can’t feel them. We are marching up the mountains.As we are walking we can see pieces of ice starting to break, we are scared. Some are so soft that I feel like I was about to sink. I look up and see mountains made out of what look like hard dirt. I can’t feel anything because my hands feel weakened . I pinch myself really hard to see if I feel it, but as I do it feels like the numbness surrounding my body has suddenly broken like a shell but quickly covers me up again.
I stomp on one of the ice and I sink down and my foot gets wet. I am stuck. I try so hard to pull my leg out but I can't. I shout so loud that people beside me hear. They quickly rush over and hold both of my hands and pull me out. “Thank you” I say and we carry on snow hiking. It is a really long hike.
I zoom into the snowy ground and it is really dirty. I look up and see seagulls flying overhead with chilliness. Finally I arrive at my destination safely.
Kia ora Victoria, thank you for sharing your excellent descriptive writing. I like how you wrote in present tense and used similes. I wonder if there is any onomatopoeia that would go well in your writing?
ReplyDelete