It was at dawn the bright red poppies showing from the battlefield had caught my eyes. The poppies I have seen represent every single fallen soldier. They were dancing in the sunset. It had a black circle that looked like a button. The bright red poppy gave me a flashback on the war that happened. The poppies were just too beautiful that I couldn't resist, I picked one up it felt so smooth,I clipped it on my shirt using a safety pin. I rested myself on the bright red poppies.
The harmony from the poppies and the sunlight had shut my eyes completely, I was dreaming of being in that world war 1 but couldn't because I was too young. When I got up I kept on thinking about the war and about the fallen soldiers who had risked their lives to save New Zealand. Looking at the bright red poppies as the wind swooshes it from side to side made it more satisfying.
I saw that as the wind moved the poppies from side to side parts of the poppies started to rain down the uncut grass. I decided to pick one up so that when I arrive home I will keep it as a year's memory.
Ka mau te wehi, awesome work on your descriptive writing Victoria! I love how you have conveyed a complex idea using figurative language including simile, personification, alliteration, onomatopoeia and symbolism. One suggestion for next time would be to write in present tense (as if it is happening right now). Well done!
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